Have you ever loved something so much, so completely, that you would do anything for it? You would risk your life, or your arteries, and go to the ends of the Earth for that something? Well this boy has. He loves bacon endlessly and unconditionally. Well, on one condition, that there is more of it. Bacon is one of America’s favorite foods, and we feel the need to put it on everything. Bacon cheeseburgers, bacon breakfast sandwiches, bacon quinoa. That last one is a joke. That probably does not exist. Actually, I take it back, it probably does, because Americans love bacon. If there is a food that does not yet have bacon in it, it is our duty to scream The National Anthem and put bacon in that thing. And if there is already bacon in it, that sounds like an excuse to me. Put more bacon in there immediately, traitor.
In the video, this boy exemplifies patriotism perfectly. Not only does he love the bacon, but he is upset by not having a “bacon pocket.” What is a bacon pocket, you may ask? I may also ask it. Perhaps we have not yet ascended to that level of Americanism yet. I hope one day to know what a bacon pocket is, and to be able to fashion one of my own. For now, though, the toddler in the clip makes do. He eats just a bit of this piece of bacon, and then puts it in his shirt, hiding it for later, and crafting a makeshift bacon pocket. This will be the next big do-it-yourself craze that sweeps the nation, I can see it now. Want bacon? Want a pocket? Boy do I have the solution for you! Do you have a shirt? Great! Put the bacon in your shirt! Wow, great job! That is it. It is over now. I hope you had fun while it lasted, and I hope you have even more fun in several hours when you eat lukewarm, hours old bacon and use your bacon-greased shirt as a napkin and/or bib. I hope it tastes like freedom.
Have you ever tried turkey bacon? Did it feel European when you did? There is no reason for it to, as far as I am aware, turkey bacon is absolutely not a European thing. That really does not have anything to do with anything, but it got my brain going for a couple of seconds, and for that I am thankful. I actually do not eat much bacon if I am being entirely honest with you, dear reader. Perhaps that is something I should remedy in myself. Perhaps I should stare at an American flag for hours on end while shoveling endless bacon into my gullet. Everyone has room for self-improvement, after all.
Do you have any videos of people hiding things they should not be? Or just any other funny videos, because that last category sounds kind of specific. Anyway, upload your awesome videos HERE! And do not forget to watch the hilarious and adorable video below!