If you don’t have a least favorite bird, you aren’t paying attention. Some automatically default to the pigeon, which is not a bad choice given their peskiness and ubiquitous presence in cities across the country, but personally, I reserve my disdain for the Canada Goose. For anyone who has ever been around one, these flying vermin are a scourge. They litter playgrounds and parks with their waste, disrupt the ambient peace and quiet with their tormenting honks, and don’t migrate, so there’s no break from them even in winter. To those still on the fence at this point (or heavens forbid on the “pro-goose” side), I present Exhibit A.
A boy is blindsided by an aggressive goose. Run, Timmy!
Young Timmy* is walking up a hill near some wetlands, just minding his own business, when out of nowhere he’s attacked by a mindless honking machine. His mother finds the whole thing quite amusing as she films (which quite frankly, it is. Very.) but this avian terror is unrelenting.
After the first winged attack, Timmy tries to take cover, but is berated once more. He finally escapes the goose’s clutches, but by then it’s pretty safe to say these animals are ruined for him going forward.
The only “Goose” I can get behind is in Top Gun.
All in all, this is a pretty hilarious clip. Sure there was some inherent danger built in, but luckily he made it away unscathed (emotional scars notwithstanding).
By now, if your allegiances still lie on the side of the geese, I don’t know what to tell you. With their profound awfulness on full display here, I just can’t fathom feeling fond of these menaces.
* cannot confirm this is actually his name
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