Spaghetti-Snorting Teen Boy Flosses Nose With Noodle

February 26, 2018
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Spaghetti, for the most part, only has one purpose: to be enjoyed in large quantities, covered in a delicious sauce, paired with sausage or meatballs (if you’re into that sort of thing) and a large piece of crusty bread with which to clean the bowl at the end. Some people, however, may find other, nontraditional uses for this Mediterranean/college student staple.
This teen boy wiggles a strand of pasta into his nostril…we can’t imagine this will end well.

He tries to go in through the mouth at first, which unsurprisingly didn’t take. He quickly pivots to the nasal-route, and it’s a bit of a struggle. Sniffling as he works it into his nose, his early attempts to snort the noodle are in vain.

Then, he gets it. You can tell the exact moment it happens, which not coincidentally occurs at the exact point at which you almost throw up into your mouth a little while watching it.
Welp, I guess that’s one way to clear your sinuses! I think I’ll just stick with my Claritin though…

Once the sickening stunt is complete, the teen tugs on either end of the vermicelli in a wretch-inducing display. A strand even breaks off the end before he successfully pulls the noodle out, the grossest floss-job ever, finally ending all our suffering.

I find myself laughing while gagging at him clearing his throat to pass the noodle into his mouth, and I never knew that was even possible before! There should probably be a name for it. “Gaughing”? “Lagging”? I’d say we should vote on it, but that would mean we’re making it a thing, and I’m not sure if the world needs that right now.

We don’t know for sure whether pasta originated in Italy, China or somewhere else entirely, but we do know this was NOT its intended use!

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